RSVP – Those 4 letter always make me sigh, as they mean I have been invited to a party, which as an introvert I find challenging. It’s not that I don’t love and want to spend time with my family and friends, I do, but I would rather sit down and have a meal with them than finding myself in a room full of stranger who I am sure are lovely, but who I struggle to talk to. Yes, I do have a few standard questions that I use to open up conversations, but then I struggle to engage in general small talk. It has always been this way.
Even as a child I remember when my parents had parties, I would spend most of my time in the kitchen, trying to look busy by checking what was cooking or making drinks, anything but actually having to socialise.
Yet it’s not about shyness, I have no problem if I go on a course or workshop by myself as straightaway there is a mutual interest that has drawn us all together and thus loads to talk about.
So when an invitation arrives, I will RSVP to accept and I go because I love my friends, and fortunately they know me well enough to accept my late arrival and early departure – for that is greatness of friendship – an acceptance of each other exactly as we are.
What a brave telling of true feelings, which I believe quite a few people share! Even though I enjoy spending time with family & friends, I also find small talk with those I don’t know a bit of a chore. When you said you escaped to the kitchen as a child during family parties, I realized, that’s exactly what I did! That’s probably what led to my interest in cooking later in life.
Perhaps that’s also why I prefer hosting vs. attending parties. Because I can surround myself with a hand picked group of people that I know, and have shared common interests.
I do applaud your willingness to put yourself out there and spend some time with your friends even though its out of your comfort zone. Its clear you have over come quite a bit already from a health perspective and you are stretching yourself on the relational perspective as well. Bravo!
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Of course – hosting is the way to go, I hadn’t really thought about it that way round, great idea. I just need to improve my cooking skills 😀
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I see that you are selected my cathyscookingblog to follow. This is actually a test site for the blogging101 class. My real cooking blog is http://itsthyme2cook.com/. Check it out if you’re interested. Maybe you’ll find a few recipes you like and then you’ll be cooking up a storm in no time!
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It is so important for friends to accept us as we are and not try to mold us.
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I feel introverts don’t like small talk much but sometimes small talk is necessary to make others feel helpful. One of my gurus said “say something when there is silence and listen silently when others are speaking.” The intent is–not to let others feel gloomy or unheard in both cases. Sometimes it is about community and sometimes about us 🙂
Love and light ❤
Anand 🙂
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I’m inspired! I may have a spin-off post from this.
Sounds like you’re not a small-talker- would you say that’s true of most introverts? I can definitely relate to the big party thing – anytime there’s a large number of people and/or lots of noise, I just zone out. Like my brain says, “this is too much for me, I’ll come back when it’s quieter.” lol
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I am not sure about other introverts and small talk, for me it’s just that quest for finding common ground, once I have got the numbers and noise 😀
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You said what I feel. Even if I might seem to be a friendly person , I really struggle with small talk. I have to read blogs or Twitter for small talk ideas.
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